Mary's Newsie Adventure!
by angel13
Summary: Newsies-Hater Mary gets ZAPped into the movie. Her Newsie-Loving friend Caroline has the remote control! 2 New Chapters!
1. "You're Weird."

I know some very Anti-Newsie people. My friend Mary isn't extremely anti-Newsie, but I know she gets sick of me talking about them. Well Mary, I'm just gonna zap you into the newsie world and MAKE YOU LIKE IT!!!!!!  
  
(author's note--sometimes I do slip into a New York accent by accident. That much is true. And I've seen Newsies exactly 20 times. The rest...well....is an exaggeration....)  
  
****  
Mary was walking towards Caroline's house one sunny summer day. She was gonna sleep over for Caroline's 14th birthday. Soon, she reached the blue house at the top of the hill and rung the doorbell.  
Caroline bounded down the stairs and opened the door  
"Heya Mare."  
"Hi! Happy Birthday!"  
"T'anks." Caroline smiled and grabbed Mary's bag and led her upstairs. Molly, Kate, Allie and Corinna were already there, listening to music and reading magazines....on bunk beds.....  
"Hi guys!"  
"Heya Mare." They all answered in reply.  
Mary narrowed her eyes, suddenly feeling paranoid....Why were there bunk beds? They hadn't been here a few days ago...  
"Do you guys want somethin' to eat?" Caroline tossed Mary's stuff on a lower bunk. "I'se got cold slaw, hot dogs or uhhhh, lemme see."  
"What happened to all the normal food Caroline?" Mary asked.  
"Well, I'se only gonna eat what the newsies ate in the movie from now on." Caroline said, deadpan.   
"You're weird." Mary answered.  
"Thank ya lady, much obliged." Caroline grinned.  
"Stop with the freakin' accent!" Mary exclaimed.  
"What accent? You'se da one talkin' funny." Corinna stood up.  
Mary contemplated running for the door, but then realized they'd only chase her. (very good Mary!)  
"Alright. I'm sorry."  
Everyone else relaxed. They didnt feel like maiming Mary either.  
"Let's watch a movie....I brought 'Never Been Kissed.'" Mary walked over to the TV.  
"NO!!!" Molly shrieked.  
"WE'SE CAN'T WATCH A DIFFERENT MOVIE!!!" Allie added  
"We must watch Newsies. We must watch Newsies. We must watch Newsies." All of them started to sway and chant. Mary looked at Caroline in horror.  
"What kind of sick joke is this? What did you do to them?"  
"Hypnotized 'em." Caroline shrugged. "Just put the movie in. They're addicted now. If we don't watch the movie in every 2 1/2 hours, they'll start reenacting the whole thing. Actually--" Caroline shifted her weight to the other foot, "Allie is a pretty good Racetrack."  
"You're weird." Mary edged away from her.  
"Thank ya lady, much obliged." Caroline grinned. "Now, you don't appreciate this movie. So, I'm just gonna use my telekinesis and the wonderful people at Disney to ZAP! you there." Caroline pointed to the blank TV.  
"ZAP! me where?" MAry rolled her eyes.  
"The movie." Caroline shrugged and ZAP!ped Mary.  
***  



	2. "I enjoy the pounding sensation in my he...

  
*************  
  
Mary opened her eyes what seemed like a few seconds later, but turned out to be 102 years. It was 1899, the year "Newsies" took place. [author's note--no offense, but if you're reading this and you didnt know that...DUH!]  
  
Mary started blinking violently and smacked her head. She appeared to be in a city square with a statue of some funny looking man.  
  
"This can't be happening. I always knew Caroline was weird, but she did not seriously just ZAP! me into a movie. Probably knocked me uncon...." Mary never finished the conversation she was having with herself (and the little people that live inside her head...) when she saw a whole army of shabbily dressed [but otherwise gorgeous] guys singing and dancing down the streets.  
"A might Fiiiiiiiine Life!! Carryin' da banner tough and tall!!!!"   
"AAH! Don't hurt me!!" Mary ran for cover. The guys didn't seem to notice and kept going.  
Mary scowled, then turned to leave. There was some restaurant around here she remembered from the movie. Maybe she could get something to eat. Maybe she could talk to that funky puppet thing Caroline made fun of at Medda's and get him to ZAP! her out of here. [author's note--that puppet, Zoltar....he's got mystical powers, I sware!!!]  
Mary was so immersed in thought she didnt even realize she had walked into someone.  
"Hey, what do you think you're doing?" She looked up and saw she had bumped into David.  
"Um--sorry."  
"Oh hey, wait. Sorry. I thought you were one of those guys." David pointed to the huge crowd of newsies.   
"Don't worry about it. I'm Mary, by the way."  
"David. And this is Les."  
Les glanced warily at Mary. "You have funny-looking clothes."  
"What do you mean?" She glanced down at her pink weathervane shirt and jeans.   
"Uh-oh," She thought, "Girls didnt exactly wear pants in 1899..."  
"Oh yeah, real nice Les." David said sarcastically and whacked his brother's shoulder. "You must be a newsie." He turned back to Mary.  
"Yeah, that's it. I'm a newsie. Carryin' da banner is my life." Mary rolled her eyes.  
"Well, come on, let's get the papers." Neither David nor Les seemed to notice.  
Mary followed them towards the World Building.  
***  
"Outta my way, street rat!"  
"Move it lady!"  
"Does-does anybody wanna buy a newspaper? Please?" Mary had been moping around Central Park for the last hour. "Pleeeeeeease buy a paper sir!" The man didn't give her a second look.  
Mary fell down in the gutter, defeated. She still had the 50 papes Jack had bought for her. ("Anodder fifty for my friend heah.") She started banging her head on the sidewalk.   
"Hey lady....don't that hurt?"  
Mary lifted her head from the mud and cobblestone to look at a small group of newsies giving her a strange look.  
"No, I enjoy the pounding sensation in my head." And the circulation bells ringing nonstop, she added silently.  
"You'se weird." said a short Italian as he pitched a cigar into a nearby bush.  
"Thank ya, much obliged." Mary blinked twice slowly, then went to continue her head-banging.  
"Uh listen, I'se Racetrack. Why don't you come with us. We're bettah company than da sidewalk...I think..."  
Mary stood up slowly, brushed the mud, banana peels and horse plop off her clothes, and started walking with them.  
"Dis is Mush."  
"Hi."  
"And dis is Kid Blink, Itey, Snipeshooter, Specs and Snoddy."  
  
"Snotty?"  
  
"Snoddy."  
  
"Snooty?"  
  
"Snoddy."  
  
"Oh, okay whatever."  
***  



	3. "NEWSIE-STAR!!!!"

And this is the bunkroom."  
"Nice..." Mary feigned excitement.  
"So," She sat down on the nearest bunk, "Where's your fearless leader, Mack? Or whatever the hell his name is..."  
"Jack. Jack Kelley. Well let's see," Racetrack pulled out a watch, "It's 7:03 so Jack should be coming right about---now." The newsies jumped up and ran to the window. Mary followed, not knowing exactly what was going on.  
Outside the window, Jack was pretending to ride a nonexistent horse, rolling in the dirt, clicking his heels, etc.   
"So, he does this all the time?" Mary asked.  
"Yep, every night, he comes dancing into the square at seven o'three on the dot. You can set your watch by it." Boots replied, then turned back to the window. Well, he was in the back, and being a rather vertically challenged newsie, Boots had...issues....("C'mon fellas, move aside!! I'se can't see Jack's Nifty Santa Fe Dance (c)!! I never get to!! No fair! KLOPPMAN!!!")  
The newsies all seemed quite interested, but Mary couldn't help but laugh.  
(author's note~I WILL GET YOU MARY!!! YOU WILL LEARN TO LOOOOOVE THIS MOVIE!!)  
  
"What a moron!" She laughed again.  
Slowly the newsies turned and glared at her.  
"That's Jack. And he looks just like hisself." Crutchy frowned and raised his crutch.  
"C'mere ya rotten dirty scabber! I'll soak ya!" Spot popped out of nowhere, started jumping up and down and generally getting violent.  
"We trusted you." Boots brushed the tears from his eyes. He was still upset over missing Jack's Nifty Santa Fe Dance (c)  
"Nooooo! Don't hurt me!" Mary ran and hid behind a bunk, covering her eyes. When she looked up a few seconds later, the newsies were all at their bunks, talking and laughing.  
  
"Hey Race, where's Jack?" One kid with an eyepatch on called from his bunk.  
"Well, let's see....7:03 so Jack should be coming right about---now."   
All of them bolted for the window.  
"Wow..." Crutchy sighed, "I wish I could do Jack's Nifty Santa Fe Dance (c) Heck, I wish I could dance period."  
"So do we Crutch, so do we." Mush touched his shoulder, then gazed back out the window, "But Jack's the only one who can legally do the dance. Ever since he copyrighted it...."   
Mary rolled her eyes around and around and--okay enough--around in her head.  
  
***THAT NIGHT***  
  
Mary knelt down to say her prayers that night.  
"...And please God, get me out of this parallel universe filled with newsie freaks. Amen. Goodnight Jack," She whispered to the guy in the top bunk.  
"S'matta wich you..." He mumbled and turned over in his sleep.  
"Goodnight Skittery." Mary whispered again.  
"I didn't do it."  
Mary jumped onto her bunk "NEWSIE-STAR! Goodnight God." Mary whispered again and closed her eyes.  
A golden glow appeared next to the bed.  
"Goodnight Mary."  
Mary sat up, startled. A girl with golden brown braids, a newsie hat, a pale blue, off-the-shoulder prom dress and a silver wand appeared.  
"Who are you?" Mary edged away a little.  
"I'se your Newsie-Godmother. I'se sort of a mix of Cinderella, Caroline, the newsies and and Barbra Streisand. Which reminds me--DONCHA RAIN ON MY PARA-" The Caroline-look-alike started to break into song.  
"But....why....?" Mary cut her off.  
"Basically, your subconcious came up with me to help youse deal wit' bein' a newsie. Lord knows you needs it..." Caroline shifted in her dress and sat down on the end of the bunk.  
"So...what do I do to get ZAP!ped out of here? What do I need to click my heels together or what?"  
"No...wrong story heah. What you need to do to get ZAP!ped back to reality is learn to appreciate these guys, their talent and their hard woik. Get it?"  
"Yes. I understand completely." Mary nodded.  
"Good," Mary's newsie Godmother smiled and headed for the window. She turned back suddenly, "And stop talking weird! Lose da funny accent."  
"I-I can do that." Mary caught herself immidietly, "I mean--I'se can do dat, no prob!"  
"Caroline grinned again, then in a flash, was gone.  
*** 


	4. "We're in a movie?"

Mary awoke the next morning--very early.  
  
"Why in the heck is this old Geezer walkin' around screamin'????" Mary ran over to Kloppman and started shaking him violently by the shoulders.  
"Why can't you just let me be??? Let me be! For the love of tomatoes, just let me be!!"  
"You'se weird little lady." Kloppman said warily.  
Mary sighed "Thank ya, much obliged."  
  
"Heah dat fellas? Let me be! Hahahahaaa." Mary gave Mush an odd look.   
"Who ast you?" Mary, Specs and several other newsies said in unison.  
"You see, Mister Klukmon--" Mary decided to ignore this and turned back to the old man who she was nearly choking.  
"Kloppman." He cut in, gasping for air.  
  
"WHATEVER!" Mary shrieked, then began in an intense, almost psycho tone, "I have been in this parallel universe for--oh, I'd say over 24 hours, and I--I just can't TAKE IT ANY LONGER! They sing, they dance, and well, personally, I think they're all just plain freaky. I am at my wit's end. Pretty soon, I will be brainwashed and I too will dance with the happy newsies! In Happy Newsie Land!! EEheeheehee!" Mary jumped up and down a few times then started playing with her hands, "One newsie, two newsie, three newsie, four! Newsies go happy dancie out da door! HAHA!!" She laughed and skipped gleefully around the room.  
  
"This one makes Caroline look normal..." Race said in a stage whisper to Kid Blink.  
Mary stopped, "What? You've met Caroline!?"  
Race shrugged. "Who do you think gave her the power to ZAP! her way into the movie?"  
"We're in a movie?" Kid Blink looked up and smiled a cheesy smile. "The name's Blink. Kid Blink." He said in a low, seductive voice.  
"You did? Really?" Mary asked.  
"Well after she watched the movie 82 times, I decided that she was gonna whacko--"  
"She has been for a while--" Mary muttered.  
"And so now she can see us in real life, not just on tv and fanfic."  
"We're in fanfic?" Kid Blink looked up and smiled cheesily again, "You know you girls want me....But you just can't have me...."   
"She pops in and out every so often when she's not working for the C.I.A." Race added.  
"And she always told me she was skating..." Mary thought out loud.  
"Uh oh...I've said too much!" Race tapped his cigar twice, "Come in Headquarters, come in. Mission aborted....repeat mission aborted!" He took a look around at everyone and frantically ran to the window, jumping out.  
  
(Now you know why Race didn't want Snipeshooter fooling around with his cigar.)  
  
The newsies watched this is disbelief, but then turned back to the bathroom.  
"Where were we Crutch?" Itey asked.  
"Uh, I think we were on 'Every Mornin...'"  
"Oh yeah--"  
"Every Morrrrrrnin! We goes where we wishes! We'se as free as fishes!"  
Mary shrieked and ran for the door.  
  



	5. "Dis heah is da greatest newsie evah to ...

"I can't take it any more!!! I'm gonna go whacko-smacko!!" Mary ran through Manhattan's streets, screaming.  
"Mary? Mary shut up and pay attention." A voice from the sky called.  
"Lord? Is that You?" Mary asked in her usual gullible way. She looked skyward.  
"Uh.....no. It's Caroline."  
A face appeared in a cloud--Caroline's. Mary shrieked.  
"How--how did you do that?"  
"I have my ways."  
"Yeah, Race said you worked for the C.I.A...."  
"Oh, uh that..." Caroline's cloud face looked flustered, "Well, I wouldn't believe everything Racetrack says...the guy dresses up in drag and does the hula for fun."  
"Seriously?" Mary's jaw dropped.  
"Yeah. But that's off subject. I don't think you're working very hard at appreciating the newsies. I mean, running through the streets screaming 'I'm whacko-smacko' isn't exactly going to earn you a whole lotta friends." Caroline scrunched up her eyebrows.   
"Well, you tell me then. Just how DO I earn the friendship of these scumbucket street rats?" Mary sat down on the cobblestone.  
"First of all, you don' call us scum and then you stop talking to the sky." Mary turned to see Spot and his entourage.   
Mary groaned, and stood up. She found that she towered over this newsie.  
"So, who you callin' scum, chick?" Spot said in a very sexy voice.  
"Yeah, are youse cawlin' him scum?" A shorter newsie said, something to the effect of the Sopranos.  
"You. And all you're idiot newsie friends." Mary rolled her eyes and turned to leave, but Spot caught hold of her sleeve.  
"I don' think you knows who you talkin' to, girl."  
"Yeah do you know who dis man is?" The short newsie in the black suit echoed.  
"Shadup Tony." Spot whacked his shoulder.  
"Awright, awright."  
"I'se--" Spot was cut off by Tony again.  
"Dis heah is da greatest newsie evah to run da Underwoild--Spot Conlon!!"   
"Shadup Tony! And I'se don' run da Underwoild!"  
"Awright, awright."  
Mary studied Spot for a second. He was too cute to be running the Underworld....  
"I'm Mary." She answered.  
"She's Mary." Tony repeated.  
"I gots ears!" Spot barked.  
"He's got ears!" Tony shouted back at Mary.  
"So, how'd ya get here, babe? You'se obviously not from around heah." Spot did his infamous smirk and crossed his arms.  
"Well my friend Caroline is a newsie-lover who actually happens to work for the CIA and she was mad that I didn't love newsies to death so she ZAP!ped me here into this movie and she can see everything I do on tv and that's drivin' me crazy and Jack's a freaky dancer, Racetrack's an undercover agent and Blink's a ham." Mary said all in one breath.  
Spot and Tony stared at her for a second. Spot turned to Tony.  
"What'd she say?"  
"Well--she did a little zip-zap--bada boom bada bing--Here she is, in a da flesh." Tony explained.  
"Oh okay--I get it." Spot shrugged, "See ya around goil."  
They started out for the circulation docks to meet up with Jack.  
Mary watched them leave, then ran the other way.  



	6. True Love

"Gotta get out of here...gotta get out of here..." Mary talked to herself yet again as she hurried down Manhattan's East Side ( A/Ndon't ask me how she got there...truth is....I dont know)  
  
"You will stay here till you like it, or I kill you. Whichever comes first."  
  
Mary wheeled around and looked down in disbelief.  
  
"Caroline? You're a--"  
  
"Chicken? Yeah no kidding." The chicken squawked back at Mary. "They're coming! Now make like Dorothy and hit the Yellow Brick Road!" Caroline/the chicken flapped her/its wings and waddled away.  
  
Mary turned and saw a bunch of newsies heading down the opposite sidewalk.  
  
"Hey! Skittery!"  
  
"I didn't do it! Oh, sorry....reflex."  
  
"Whatever. Listen, you wouldn't wanna show me around this hellhole, would ya?"  
  
Skittery grinned. This girl was perfect for him. She was totally cynical about....well....EVERYTHING.  
  
"Yeah sure. We eat at this dump called Tibby's....WORST food you could ever imagine. I just eat there because it's cheap..."  
  
"So what else are you forced to deal with in your miserable life?" Mary asked Skit eagerly at the table in Tibby's.   
  
"Les."   
  
Mary gave him a roll of the eyes in sympathy, "I feel your pain. That kid bugs the hell outta me too."  
  
Skittery smiled inwardly. Mary was hilarious in the way that they were both unenthusiastic about the same things. Mary was great; Skittery thought happily about how he was going to ask her out and then he'd have a girlfriend who would make fun of everyone else with him.   
  
But Skittery's luck was about to change. David happened by the table just then.   
  
"Hi Mary!" David smiled, squeezing beside her at the booth. His adorable eyes lit up as she sniffed in contempt. "I brought you some flowers." He handed her a bouquet of yellow roses.  
  
"Get away from me, newsie scum of the earth." Mary said matter-of-factly.   
  
"Wait a minute! Wait a minute!" A voice boomed from above. The whole restaurant froze. Newsies sat frozen, forks halfway to their mouths and Specs in mid-sneeze. (Not a pretty picture)  
  
"What did you do, Caroline?" Mary propped her head on her arm, boredly.  
  
Caroline's face appeared on the menu, over the words, "Roast Beef Special".   
  
"I hit the 'pause' button." She told Mary.  
  
"Figures..." Mary muttered to herself.  
  
"Listen, you can't do that to David....He's my favorite!" Caroline whined.   
  
"Ew, why?" Mary looked over at David frozen beside her, his eyes half-hooded in mid-blink and the goofy smile still fixed upon his face.  
  
"He's cute!"  
  
"Look at that goofy smile."  
  
"He's adorable, so shut up." Caroline hit the "play" button and the buzz of the restaurant resumed.   
  
David looked unfazed. "Okay! Call me!" He jumped up and skipped away from the table cheerfully, as if Mary had just kissed him.   
  
Mary turned back to Skittery  
  
"Moron." They both muttered under their breath and snickered.   
  
Mary and Skittery locked eyes for a brief but loving moment. There was the silent understanding that everything was going to change Then Crutchy tripped and as Mary guffawed, Skittery called him "the biggest screw up to ever limp around the planet."  
  
Ah yes. This, ladies and gentlemen, was true love.   
  
yes I know. I bit short. S'okay though!! 


	7. Pipe down, drama queen!

"A pair of new shoes with matchin' laces!"  
  
"A permanent box at Sheepshead Races!"  
  
"A porcelein tub with boilin' water!"  
  
"A hitman to kill Caroline!"  
  
Everybody stopped singing and looked at Mary.  
  
"That don't rhyme." Racetrack reminded her.  
  
Mary shrugged, "Rhyme-schmyme. She put me in this hell. When I become King of New York, she becomes dead." Mary pulled her newsie cap down on her head and sat back in her chair boredly. "Go on, Blink. Sing your solo. It's inevitable."  
  
"A saturday night with the mayor's daughter!"  
  
Mary closed her eyes. This. song. AGAIN. The movie kept playing. It had ended once and now this was the second time through. That is to say--the whole strike had ended and the credits rolled. Then they did the whole thing backwards really fast (Caroline must have been rewinding) Then they started the movie all over again. The newsies remembered Mary, but could not remember having gone on strike and having sung the same songs just last week.  
  
"Stupid-ass newsies." She whispered to herself, as she surveyed them dancing on tables.  
  
"All right THAT'S IT!! STOP THE MOVIE!" Mary kicked Denton.  
  
"What movie? DAVID! WHAT MOVIE!?!?!" Sarah shrieked in a panic.  
  
"Oh pipe down, drama queen!" Mary jumped on top of the table and did a double take. "You're not even IN this scene, Sarah. Go do some laundry!"  
  
Sarah grinned. "Okay!" She flounced out of Tibby's.  
  
"What's up, Mare?" Itey asked.  
  
Mary contemplated. "Nothing really. I just wanted to shake things up a bit.....anyone know the Macarena?"  
  
"PLEASE TEACH ME!" David kicked Denton out of the way, and kneeled at Mary's feet in sheer awe.  
  
5 Minutes Later  
  
"I'm the king of New Heyyy Macarena!" CLAP  
  
Mary snorted and walked out of Tibby's, her hand clasped tightly in Skittery's.  
  
"Take that Caroline."  
  
what didja think?! =D 


End file.
